And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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