I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
