If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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