i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
