spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
