I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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