I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
