Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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