2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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