I want to stick my p in your. b.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
