That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
