I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
