my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
