i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
