dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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