I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
