I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
