Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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