OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I am morally bankrupt
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
