Don't make out with my wife yet
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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