I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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