I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
