her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I met the friendliest cop last night
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
