If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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