It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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