they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
