Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
