im drinking this country out of the recession.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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