Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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