i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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