You made me cry and you don't even care
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
