Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
