I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
