8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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