you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
only if we run a train.
done.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
