yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
