whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
