He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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