i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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