Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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