If i come over, it means nothing
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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