just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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