There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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