would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
