do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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