thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
