Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
