I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
