Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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