Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
