from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
