There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize