My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
