His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
