I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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