We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
