who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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