so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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