just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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